The Despair of Kaiser de Emperana Beelzebub IV
by DaughterofDemeter123
Summary: Oga spots a famous biker gang and decides to approach them, but is interrupted by a couple of strange highschoolers.


"Who the hell are those guys?"

Oga stared at the rowdy group of punks across the street from him. They were shouting and cheering loudly from atop their motorcycles, daring each other to do tricks and, on occasion, actually trying them. Furuichi, who had been slowly sneaking away to avoid being used as a meat shield when his bloodthirsty friend inevitably challenged the motor gang in front of them, stopped and stared at Oga incredulously.

"Are you kidding me! You're seriously so clueless that you don't recognize one of the top gangs in Japan?" He hissed, trying not to draw their attention. "Those are the Crazy Diamonds!"

"A gang," Oga gave a nasty grin. "Hey Beel, what do you think? If these guys are really such top rank delinquents, there's gotta be some shithead more evil than me hanging around them."

"Dabu!"

"Alright, then it's settled."

Furuichi's eyes popped out of his head as Oga took his first step toward them. He flew forward and snatched Oga's arm, pulling him in the opposite direction.

"What the hell do you thing you're doing you idiot!" He shouted, struggling to keep his hold. "You can't just waltz over there and toss a baby at them! Ishiyama's one thing, but that is a nationally feared group!

So occupied with their argument, neither of them noticed two high school students on a cherry red bicycle park in front of them. They also failed to notice as Baby Beel climbed down from Oga's back and toddled over to them. The male student immediately knelt down to inspect the demon baby, and his large eyebrows flew up comically.

He hoisted the baby up into the air, holding him at an arms length and ignoring him as he squirmed to reach the pigtailed girl standing behind him. He quickly assessed the situation, and decided that it was his duty as a citizen to fix it.

"Sirs!" He shouted, striding over to where Oga and Furuichi were fighting. They ignored him. "Which one of you is in charge of this child? He is not abiding to the local public decency laws, and despite his age, I must insist that you clothe him immediately!"

Furuichi finally noticed someone was talking to them, and turned his head to the speaker. Unfortunately Oga hadn't noticed, and found it a perfect opportunity to sock his friend in the face. He flew straight into a wall.

"Fuck! Oga, you jerk!" Furuichi yelled. Possibly. It was a little hard to make out what he was saying through the mouthful of concrete.

Oga finally noticed that his kid was no longer on his person, but in the hands of some guy he'd never seen before. Before he could say a word, something along the lines of _'you can keep it if you want'_, the guy opened his mouth and started to chastise him.

"What a blatant disregard for the law- and in front of a woman and child, no less!" The guy looked appalled. He turned to the girl. "Enoshima-san, if it isn't too much trouble, would you mind holding this baby while I explain proper decorum to these hooligans?"

"What, seriously?" She whined, scrunching up her nose. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm good with kids, you know."

_'Then_ again,' She realized. 'if_ there's one thing I remember about being a brat, it's the despair of adults swarming me and Sis to coo about how cute we were and pinch our cheeks raw. It got bad enough that I ran away whenever Obasan came near me... upupupu!'_

"Hey wait a minute-!" Said Oga, mentally trying to measure the distance between him and Beel.

The girl, noticing his sudden panic grinned widely at the baby, who stared at her with big sparkly eyes. She wondered how much despair would be drawn out if she were to drop the baby... or steal it's binky... or sue it's father claiming sexual harassment, causing the authorities to take away his child, make his friends and family shun him, and cause him to lose his job. It was a delicious thought. There were just so many options! The girl made up her mind.

"I guess he's pretty cute, though, so I'll take him anyways Ishimaru-kun!"

"Ah, thank you."

"Daa~!" Cooed Baby Beel happily, reaching eagerly for the great source of evil in front of him.

This didn't go unnoticed. Oga pushed passed the Ishimaru guy, whom had started scolding him once again after handing the baby over to the girl. He walked up to her.

"Hey. Who are you?" He asked.

The girl looked surprised for a split second, before laughing a peculiar laugh. "I thought I was a household name by now! I'm Junko Enoshima. How disappointing that such a hot guy didn't even recognize me!"

These words were enough to instantly shock Furuichi out of his pain to stare at Junko incredulously._ 'What the hell? I know this girl, she's that famous teenaged model on a lot of magazine covers, Junko Enoshima! Oga even gets the supermodels? It just isn't fair!'_

"Beel likes you." Said Oga.

"He does?"Asked Junko, grinning a little wider. "So I'm really this popular with boys of all ages? Upupu, maybe I shouldn't have made my manager cancel my appearance on that kiddie show."

Before anyone could stop her, Junko grabbed Beel's cheek and squeezed it tightly. Several things happened. Baby Beel, feeling betrayed by his new prospective parent, started crying. Junko, as well as Oga, who didn't get away in time, were electrocuted by many volts of electricity. The bright lights and the screaming drew the attention of the Crazy Diamonds, and in seconds the group of misfits was totally surrounded by a gang of confused bikers. Mondo Oowada, leader of the gang, got off his bike to get a better look.

"What the fuck? Hey, it's that girl from my class." He turned his head a little to the left and noticed the shellshocked Ishimaru. "Oi, it's Kyoudai!"

Ishimaru, knocked out of his stupor, suddenly remembered something that he considered to be a more important matter than a magic baby.

"Kyoudai, you skipped classes today! As punishment, I have no choice but to give you four days detention! Please return to your dormitory at the academy, we will begin by-"

"What the hell is going on?" Asked Mondo, interrupting. "That kid is messed up! This whole scene is messed up, no matter how you look! ...is Enoshima laughing?"

Junko was indeed laughing, despite being electrocuted. Why wouldn't she be laughing? She'd never had this much fun in her life! Not since the time she was in charge of that charity fundraiser and took the majority of the money for herself, leaving a lot of people starving and homeless. That had been a hell of a thrill. To think that she'd embarrass herself like this in public! Ooh, what if the magic baby's hot dad had been like a genie or something? What if he had been planning to grant her three wishes, but was so mad about her baby-torture that he cursed her! To think, she would've had the perfect way to make her plans come to fruition and she blew it!

She laughed all the louder. Normally, this kind of depravity was exactly the kind of thing Baby Beel loved, but he had already decided that he hated her forever. Actually, all of her weird giggling and chortling was beginning to scare him. He cried harder. Everyone within a 100 ft radius was electrocuted. It lasted for a long time. Luckily for Oga, not everyone has built up such a tolerance to electricity, and by the time Beel finally calmed down, everyone else was unconscious.

The End

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**Well, this was ****silly. Please note that this is intended to be a oneshot, and if you have any questions leave them in the reviews! I will get back to you.**


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